Why do it?
“Feedback” can be a loaded word —
with images of painful performance
reviews and hurt feelings. Even if
you ask for brutal honesty, you may
hear only positive messages
(especially from a direct report or
others who may cringe at the idea of
evaluating your work). Instead, try
asking for advice. Research suggests
that this simple word swap can yield
more constructive, actionable input
— perhaps because it focuses on
improving in the future rather than
criticizing what has already
happened.
How to do it:
- Identify one area where you’d like to get input.
Try to be as specific as possible about what you’d like to see change and how you’d like
to improve in order to make it easier for the other person to help you in that particular
area.
Example:
Poor: I’d like to get feedback about my meetings.
Better: I’d like to get feedback about why people seem reluctant to share in my meetings
and what I can do to encourage everyone to freely share their ideas. - Decide whom to ask.
Consider all potential sources of insight — anyone who has a useful perspective about
what you’re trying to improve, like your manager, a direct report, a colleague, or a
friend. For example, to get better at projecting confidence and positivity when you meet
new people, how about asking the receptionist at your company who greets new people
every day? You might be able to learn as much or more from that person than from your
manager. 1/2 - When you approach the person, present the situation and ask for
advice on how to improve.
When you frame your ask in this way, you give the other person a specific and concrete
place to start. For example:
“Would you be willing to give me some advice? I’ve noticed that people don’t
seem engaged and willing to share ideas in my meetings. What do you think
helps people to open
